How Did Giraffes Evolve?
Did Giraffes Climb Trees?

>>Daddy, why do giraffes have such long necks?
> Thousands of years of evolution, son! They used to have really short necks, but after thousands of years, in order to reach food from trees, they grew longer necks.

Well that's damn lie! For behold, if a species needs an evolution for survival, it will go extinct, not acquire it. This is the Iesus Church Theorem; remember it, for it will be in biology textbooks in the future:

Watch: Dumbass turtle lies to children without thinking because the evil education system lied to him and he doesn't question it because he's a damn dumbass turtle. (This video will give you cancer. It will make you want to rape all the giraffes.)

1. If a species needs an evolution for survival, it will go extinct, not acquire it.
2. If a species surives anyways, it never needed the evolution in the first place.

Pure genius - you gotta give me gredit. Anyhow, let's apply the Iesus Church Theorem to giraffes. If millions of years ago, giraffes couldn't get food from tall trees because they didn't have long necks, how did they not go extinct? They went for smaller trees. So, then, they never needed long necks! That is the second law of the Iesus Church Theorem. Duh!

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